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However, there is hope growing on the horizon for me. A lot of singles apps have become hook up apps. A congregation of people who are looking for "fun" and not relationship. I only just realized this year that I play along with that in these apps but it is no longer what I am looking for.
I never have been. It has grown so much now that I would be a fool to ignore it. It finally registered to me this year that this is not why I am on these apps at all. Rather, it is what I have been settling with.
I am personally here on this Earth for more and it felt good to come to this realization. When we chase after someone based from sheer physical appearance alone, we cheat ourselves out of the love process. If you have ever loved from the inside out, you know that the object of your affection becomes beautiful not only despite any physical imperfections according to outside standards but often because of those imperfections.
It makes them unique. I too have experienced this. Love is a transformation of your perspective. Your heart is transfixed not on a body but a soul. Love is not selfish. It does not seek out more than it needs, it does not boast, and often gives more than it receives to the other person. Love thinks outside itself and thus in that giving receives actually more than what self can give to itself.
True love is priceless. There is nothing wrong with outer beauty. I mean I go to the gym. I have body goals. However, when we are led only by physical attraction and that becomes the center of what we seek or the only calling card we answer to, we short circuit the love process. It is easy to do because where love from the inside out transforms our perspective because we see through the eyes of love, physical standards of beauty seem to do that for us without us ever having to take the risk or do the work of building a relationship.
Love is real sugar: skin deep beauty is Sucralose. It is not real. It mimics the results of the transformation of the real thing. The work of the love connection is by-passed, leapfrogged over. Instead, the propagandized image produced by society of thin and muscular or whatever it is for you comes before us and we falsely believe we know this person and are in love by the sheer physical standards they meet off our subconscious check list.
However, it is not the real thing and when the reality of real personalities that are selfish collide, it is not pretty.
The connection was based on a cheat--skin deep beauty. Relying on skin deep beauty is selfish as we see the person largely as a sexual object to please us. We bear ourselves in hopes to have the acceptance and so even in our giving to that person, it is still a selfish need to see them accept us the way we want to be accepted by them. I do have some things that attract me for sure but ultimately it is really the person that attracts.
Outer attraction plays a role but as suggested earlier, even that stems from something inward and not just outward.
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