Thou canst not hit it, my good man (modern words)

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Contents:

  • Loves Labour Lost
  • Love's Labour's Lost
  • The Words of Odin the High One

    • Thou heatst my blood. I am answerd sir. I love not to be crost. He speakes the meer contrary, crosses love not him. I have promised to study three yeeres with the duke.

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    You may do it in an houre sir. How many is one thrice tolde? I am ill at reckning, it fitteth the spirit of a Tapster. You are a Gentleman and a Gamster sir. I confesse both, they are both the varnish of a compleat man. Then I am sure you know how much the grosse summe of deus-ace amountes to [27].

    Loves Labour Lost

    It doth amount to one more then two. Which the base vulgar do call three. Why sir is this such a peece of studie? Now heere is three studied ere yele thrice wincke: and how easy it is to put yeeres to the worde three, and study three yeeres in two wordes, the dauncing Horse will tell you.

    A most fine Figure. To prove you a Cypher. I will hereupon confesse I am in love: and as it is base for a Souldier to love; so am I in love with a base wench. If drawing my Sword against the humor of affection, would deliver me from the reprobate thought of it [28] , I would take Desire prisoner, and ransome him to any French Courtier for a new devisde cursy. I thinke scorne to sigh, mee thinks I should outsweare Cupid. Comfort mee Boy, What great men have bin in love?

    Hercules Maister.

    Most sweete Hercules: more authority deare Boy, name more; and sweete my childe let them be men of good repute and carriage [29]. Sampson Maister, he was a man of good carriage, great carriage: for he carried the Towne-gates on his backe like a Porter: and he was in love.

    Love's Labour's Lost

    O wel knit Sampson , strong jointed Sampson ; I do excel thee in my rapier, a much as thou didst me in carying gates. I am in love too. Who was Sampsons love my deare Moth? A Woman, Maister. Of what complexion? Of all the foure, or the three, or the two, or one of the foure.

    Tell me precisely of what complexion? Of the sea-water Greene sir.

    Is that one of the foure complexions? As I have read sir, and the best of them too. Greene in deede is the colour of Lovers: but to have a love of that colour, mee thinkes Sampson had small reason for it. He surely affected her for her wit. It was so sir, for she had a greene wit [32]. My love is most immaculate white and red. Most maculate thoughts Maister, are maskt under such colours.

    Define, define, well educated infant. My fathers wit, and my mothers tongue assist me. The worlde was very guilty of such a Ballet some three ages since, but I thinke now tis not to be found: or if it were, it would neither serve for the writing, nor the tune.

    I will have that subiect newly writ ore, that I may example my digression by some mighty presedent. Boy, I do love, that Countrey girle that I tooke in the Parke with the rational hinde Costard: [34] she deserves well. To be whipt: and yet a better love then my maister. Sing Boy, My spirit growes heavy in love. And thats great marvaile, loving a light Wench. I say sing. Forbeare till this company be past.

    Qui sommes-nous?

    Enter Clowne, Constable, and Wench. Sir, the Dukes pleasure is that you keepe Costard safe, and you must suffer him to take no delight, nor no pe- nance, but a'must fast three dayes a weeke: for this Damsell I must keepe her at the Parke, she is alowde for the Day woman [35]. Fare you well. I do betray my selfe with blushing [36] : Maide. I will visit thee at the Lodge.

    Thats hereby. I know where it is situate. Lord how wise you are. I will tell thee wonders. With that face. I love thee. So I heard you say. And so farewell. Faire weather after you.

    • Love's Labour's Lost.
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    Come Iaquenetta , away. Villaine, thou shalt fast for thy offences ere thou be pardoned.

    Honorificabilitudinitatibus

    Well sir I hope when I do it, I shall do it on a full stomacke. Thou shalt be heavely punished. I am more bound to you then your fellowes, for they are but lightly rewarded. Take away this villaine, shut him up. Come you transgressing slave, away. Let me not be pent up sir, I will fast being loose.

    No sir, that were fast and loose: thou shalt to prison. Well, if ever I do see the merry dayes of desolation that I have seene, some shall see. What shall some see? Nay nothing M. Moth , but what they looke uppon. I do affect the very ground which is base where her shoo which is baser guided by her foote which is basest doth tread. I shall be forsworne which is a great argument of falsehood if I love.

    The Words of Odin the High One

    And how can that be true love, which is falsely attempted? Love is a familiar; Love is a Divell.

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    6. Loves Labour Lost?

    There is no evill angel but Love, yet was Sampson so temp- ted, and he had an excellent strength: Yet was Salomon so seduced, and he had a very good wit. Cupids Butshaft is too hard for Hercules Clubb [38] , and therefore too much oddes for a Spaniards Rapier: The first and second cause will not serve my turne: the Passado he respects not, the Duella he regards not; his disgrace is to be called Boy, but his glory is to sub- due men.

    Adue Valoure, rust Rapier, be still Drum, for your manager is in love; yea he loveth. Devise Wit, write Pen, for I am for whole volumes in folio [39]. Now Maddame summon up your dearest spirrits, Consider who the King your father sendes: To whom he sendes, and whats his Embassy. Be now as prodigall of all Deare grace, As Nature was in making Graces deare, When she did starve the generall world beside, And prodigally gave them all to you. Good L. Boyet , my beauty though but meane, Needes not the painted florish of your praise: Beauty is bought by judgement of the eye, Not uttred by base sale of chapmens tongues: I am lesse proude to heare you tell my worth, Then you much willing to be counted wise, In spending your Wit in the praise of mine.

    But now to taske the tasker, good Boyet , You are not ignorant all telling fame Doth noise abroad Navarre hath made a Vow, Till painefull study shall outweare three yeeres. No Woman may approch his silent Court: Therefore to's seemeth it a needfull course, Before we enter his forbidden gates, To know his pleasure, and in that behalfe Bold of your worthines, we single you, As our best moving faire soliciter: Tell him, the Daughter of the King of France On serious busines craving quicke dispatch, Importuous personall conference with his grace.

    Haste, signify so much while we attende, Like humble visage Suters his high will. Proud of imployment, willingly I go. All pride is willing pride, and yours is so: Who are the Votaries my loving Lordes, that are vowfel- lowes with this vertuous Duke?